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Dog Park Problems / Ask Arthur

Dog Park Problems / Ask Arthur

dog park problems

Dear Arthur,

I have terrible dog park problems!.

Last week I got into big trouble with my humans and I can’t understand why. I was down at the park minding my own business when this puffed up white Poodle said something offensive to me. Of course, I wasn’t going to take that lying down so I gave him a warning bite on his ear. Well, I may have got carried away and there may have been a little bit of blood but you should have seen the fuss the humans made. Anyone would think I’d eaten their baby (something I’ve managed to refrain from doing, even though they starve me daily)  I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even start what was really just a small scuffle and after all, I was only defending the honour of our pack. What am I to do?

Butch, Basingstoke

Dear Butch,

Humans are strange. They don’t seem to understand that the honour of the pack is important. I’ve had similar trouble myself in the past and can only advise restraint. I know it goes against everything some dogs stand for but if you want to keep living in a nice dry house and getting fed for free, (albeit less than you’d like) then I suggest you try turning your back on the more offensive dogs in the park, or better still, have some good sarcastic one-liners ready for any hecklers that you may encounter. Remember, as soon as you sink your teeth into a smug trouble-maker you could be in big trouble, there are dogs on death-row for similar offences!

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