Mystic Millie’s Horoscopes for December

As December looms closer, MYSTIC MILLIE, Wagging World’s psychic astrological columnist has gazed into her crystal ball and up at the STARS and now gives all our DOG readers insight into what to expect in the month ahead. Ignore her at your peril!

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SAGITTARIUS
Remember that the other dog’s grass is always full of rabbits. Sometimes you are better off where you are so don’t be tempted by strangers this month. An unexpected visit could leave you with a sore nose and a feeling of disappointment. Look out for a fat human with a white beard and remember that reindeer don’t like being barked at.

CAPRICORN
I see gloom on the horizon for Capricorns early this month. Whether it’s the unbearable loneliness of a day left in the house or a bad end to a cat chase don’t despair, new opportunities and challenges look set to return by the end of the month, be prepared for unexpected treats on December 25th

AQUARIUS
December may bring to light an existential crisis: should you carry on pretending to be stupid when asked to stay away from the kitchen or let on that you know what they’re saying. Remember that the golden sausage isn’t always where you expect to find it, sometimes it turns up behind the couch! Be prepared to find it on or around December 25th

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PISCES
Good news for Pisces the water sign this December, whether a swim in the sea, a chase in a duck pond or even a dirty puddle to lie in, your natural affinity with water will be satisfied. Be on the lookout for humans with towels at the beginning of the month but towards the end of December all will be forgotten.

TAURUS
Your senses will be on high alert this month. Use them to help you sniff out that perfect spot to take a snooze. And don’t worry about being disturbed, December is the month for all Taureans to relax. If you could be bothered to wake up, there may be something new for you to eat on December 25th

ARIES
Be suspicious of your humans this month, Aries. I see the possibility of a bath or worse still, I hear the sound of clippers and a visit to the groomers around the middle of the month. Things should settle down by the end of December though and I see unexpected treats for you around December 25th.

GEMINI
The Postman is rising again in the house of Gemini. Time to keep that temper under control and avoid snapping at strangers. You know from experience that it can only end badly. If you manage to keep calm through the month there should be new treats for you on or around December 25th

CANCER
Birds loom large this month for you, Cancer . My advice is leave them well alone. We all know how infuriating they can be. All you will do is get frustrated trying to catch them. Ignore them when they laugh at you, they’re just trying to lead you on. Be prepared for unexpected treats on December 25th. I see a bird, possibly turkey or goose ending up in your bowl around this time. Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold!

LEO
I hear exploding fireworks or thunder and lightning for you this month Leo. Don’t let it get you down. Use that resourcefulness to find a bed or table to hide under until the danger has passed. Unexpected treats on or around December 25th will cheer you up.

VIRGO
I can smell that elusive call of the wild for all Virgos, a run in the woods without a lead and a roll in a good smelly patch. There may even be cats to chase for the very lucky Virgo so keep yourself on alert for all possibilities. Be prepared for a change in your humans around December 25th and use it to your advantage.

LIBRA
You’ve always known that there’s that special stick somewhere with your name on it, don’t stop looking for it now because this could be the month you find it. Don’t be distracted by tennis balls or too many enticing smells this month, save your energy and be on the lookout for unexpected treats on December 25th

SCORPIO
Keep your eye out for unattended plates of meat or carelessly placed cakes, if you’re quick off the mark, the instant satisfaction will far outweigh the consequences. I see an abundance of opportunities around December 25th

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