Meet our latest Inside Scoopers, Dexter and Santa. Dexter is a Golden Labrador and Santa is the owner of a well-known Christmas gift distribution franchise based in Lapland. They took time out of their busy schedule to answer Wagging World’s infamous seven questions.
WW: What is your favourite food?
Santa: Believe it or not, I love a light salad. No-one seems to take that into consideration when they leave me out snacks to keep me going on my Christmas delivery rounds. Seriously, a man can only consume so many pies, cookies and milk, sherry etcetera. It’s all far too rich but of course it would be rude not to accept such well-meaning gifts. It’s no wonder I’m the size I am, I spend most of the rest of the year on diets and making sporadic visits to the gym but it just doesn’t seem to work. Dexter and I take walks around the compound every day and I suppose that would help me lose weight if the elves didn’t keep leaving me out cold sausages and pies ‘just in case I get hungry.’
Dexter: Sausages! I mean I really LOVE sausages but I never get given any. It’s always, ‘Dexter, here’s a little surprise for you,’ and one of the helper elves serves up the same old dried food in a red bowl. And they expect me to be excited by that! Well I always eat it anyway, what’s a dog to do, I’d starve if I didn’t. I bit a reindeer once, just to see what they taste like but I got into some big trouble with the Boss and the reindeer was none too happy either.
WW: What is your worst habit?
Santa: Laughing out loud all the time. I know when people first meet me they find it endearing but I notice once they’ve been around me for a while, they tend to get a glassy look in their eyes and start trying to move away. I can’t help it, I just find everything amusing
Dexter: Chasing Elves
WW: What is your biggest dislike?
Santa: Dislike? I don’t dislike anything, ha ha, what’s to dislike in such a wonderful world!
Dexter: Elves, the colour red, closely followed by green, reindeer, tinsel, that tatty old red and white suit the boss insists on wearing all through the year, beards, the sound of sleigh bells, I really hate them, you know when a sound gets in your ears and just burrows in and annoys you no matter what you do? I’m none too keen on snow either but what do you expect when you base yourself in Lapland so don’t get me started on that one.
WW: What is your favourite walk?
Santa: I like walking over the rooftops in the snow sometimes when I’m doing my rounds in the Northern Hemisphere, especially the old-fashioned type of roofs with chimneys. I took Dexter with me once but unfortunately there was a bit of unpleasantness that I don’t like to talk about. All I’ll say is that I think it’s best that he doesn’t do the rounds with me anymore so everyone can sleep peacefully in their beds.
Dexter: I love walking anywhere as long as I’m with the Boss. I really, really love walking with him and he takes me out almost every day. He throws my ball for me and lets me swim in the lake when it isn’t frozen. He doesn’t take me out on Christmas Eve anymore though, I wish he would, I loved running around and barking at the reindeer and chasing all the elves, you should have seen them all panicking and falling off the roofs, it was hilarious.
WW: What’s your best quality?
Santa: Remembering everyone’s name, I surprise myself sometimes. Oh and knowing who’s been good and who’s been bad and who deserves a Christmas present. I know it’s my job but I think I do it well.
Dexter: Patience. Trust me, you need it living in a place like this.
WW: What would be your perfect day
Santa: Well, every day’s quite perfect for me to be honest, but a really perfect day would be spent giving presents to everyone I meet and laughing even more than I do now if that’s possible. It would be nice if Dexter could spend it with me and all the elves who help me oh, and of course the reindeer, mustn’t forget the reindeer.
Dexter: A day without elves would be bliss. I almost can’t imagine what that would be like. No elves, no reindeer, just me and the Boss in a warm place chasing sticks, eating sausages and just hanging out together.
WW: Do you think you look alike?
Santa: Ha ha, well that would be telling but no, Dexter is much slimmer than me.
Dexter: It’s hard to tell. Under that beard and the red suit, who knows what the Boss looks like. I’m guessing not much like me but who can tell? I know we don’t smell alike if that’s any help.